Monday, July 9, 2012

Thoughts On Motherhood

Spending one-on-one time with Cooper has been extra special as of late.  I know our lives will change in the next few weeks so I'm holding onto the last bits of uninterrupted mommy and Cooper time we have left.  Cooper is a great cuddle buddy and quick to kiss my belly and tell his baby sister that he loves her.  Recently sitting on the couch with Cooper, his sister Irish step dancing in my belly, I realized yet again just how lucky I am.

Dave and I knew we weren't ready for kids when we married each other nearly 9 years ago.  So we waited until we were better prepared and felt the hole in our family that could only be filled by a child.  Then we waited a little longer while Heavenly Father taught us faith and patience.

Since we welcomed Cooper to our family, our house has been taken over by toys, our legs have grown increasingly tired from chasing him every direction, our wardrobes are no longer as current as they once were, and our relationship as husband and wife has definitely evolved.

While Dave and I were sick a few weeks back, Cooper stayed with my parents.  Our house was quiet, stayed clean, and Dave and I could nap whenever we wanted.  There was no negotiating over what we watched on TV and I didn't have to worry about coming up with a new activity every ten minutes.  Life was it used to be.  It was also lonely.  I missed my little mess maker calling my name.  I missed Buzz Lightyear flying across the room.  And I missed the sound of Calliou on the TV.

As I enter the final stretch of this pregnancy, I'm feeling increasingly tired and uncomfortable. Add a dose of dry desert heat and a game of chase with the Cooper Boy, and I certainly don't look or even act like the happy mom I am.  While I worry that I often appear to be an exasperated mom to other people, the truth is I love being a mother. Like so many things in life, motherhood isn't easy but it's totally worth it.   

Cooper, 1 1/2 weeks old, February 2010.


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